Getting Closer…..

So, I received a call around 5pm or so that said she had made contact with my birthmom. It was hard for me to keep composure at the time. This is the overview of what she said. She asked her name, asked if she had a child born on this date….and birthmom said yes. She was in complete shock. I guess the only thing she got out was that she never thought we would be reunited and she would love have that chance. She also got out that I have 2 brothers and 3 sisters.

 

So…….

 

Wow. Wow. All the sudden my adoption is more than a story. There is another side of these papers. It's reality. It's happening. My story connects to someone else. Crazy. I'm trying to get ahead of myself. I'm trying to hold it together. But my mind is running 1000 miles an hour. What if? How? Where? How does this all work out? Will we speak once and be done? Will we be invited for Christmas? What if she wants a relationship with my daughter? What do I tell my parents??

 

OH MY GOSH…..what do I tell my parents? They know that I have looked in the past but I'm not sure how they will handle the reality of the situation either. I think that I am even more in love with my parents. They took in this little being…..raised her……grew her……put up with her……LOVED her…….I know they will be as nervous as I am. I will have to look for the perfect time to tell my mom. I will need to reassure her…..and then I will leave it up to her to tell my dad.

 

I will be talking to her at 6pm tomorrow.

What on earth will I do till then?

Did I Really Think First????

This is the beginning of my journey of search and rescue. I was watching a silly show on A&E called The Locator. I haven't thought of searching for my birthmom since my last let down a few years ago. So, as crazy as it sounds, I jumped on-line and looked up a company that searches, filled out the questionnaire and within an hour the company called me back. Well, less than 24 hours later…..I have a name, a phone number, brothers and sisters and a whole big can of worms just waiting to be opened. I am SOOO nervous.

 

So how does it work from here?

Well, the company I hired specializes in reunion and actually mediates the first contact. I am really thankful for that. I mean, what would I say on a cold call? Hello, mam…..This is your long lost daughter……surprise! Go ahead and pick your jaw up off of the floor now.

 

HA! It's funny, I have written so many letters to her in the past and have thought endlessly about what to say and now that I am down to the wire……I'm speechless. I'm actually scared. Is this a good idea? What if it isn't the right time in her life to meet me? What if her other children don't know about me? What if I say something wrong? What if she says she doesn't want to talk to me? These are all questions that I suppose will be answered sooner or later.

Until next time…..